Monday, May 7, 2012

Getting To Know You

The "you" in this case being the eldritch abominations in which I am meant to keep track. I mean, the thickest file in the cabinets (and, actually, it was just the first of many such files) was for this:

Subject Tango Whiskey Delta (Thin White Duke)

More colloquially known as the 'Slender Man,' he's a tall, thin guy with no face that abducts children, stalks people when he's not eviscerating them, and interferes with electronics. Apparently, someone had the funny idea to call him the Thin White Duke and decided everyone here would be named after David Bowie songs as well. So, whoever made that decision: thanks a lot.

Luckily, the other subjects aren't named after David Bowie songs. Unfortunately, they are all listed under their codenames. Which makes it hard to decipher sometimes:

Subject Alpha Romeo
Subject Bravo Mike
Subject Charlie Bravo
Subject Charlie Hotel
Subject Charlie Oscar
Subject Delta Mike
Subject Echo Alpha Tango
Subject Echo Charlie
Subject Mike November
Subject Papa Delta
Subject Romeo Alpha
Subject Sierra Mike
Subject Uniform Charlie
Subject Whiskey Golf

See what I mean?

Oh, and I know that these things are usually referred to as 'Fears.' It sounds like an easy to remember name, actually. Which why they never use it. Why use an easy name when they can make it a stupid sounding one? The name they use is BUE. It's pronounced 'bowie'. It stands for Biologically Unknown Entity. Nobody uses it except in official reports. Because it's stupid.

Oh well. Hopefully, tomorrow I can get everything more organized.

4 comments:

  1. Humans making things needlessly complicated for themselves? Sounds about right.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Huh. You guys have a blog now. I suppose that makes communication simpler.

    Tell your bosses I'm going to be borrowing some of the things you people have got locked away. Just do an inventory within the next few days; if it's gone missing, chances are I took it. I'll give it all back back as soon as I'm done with them. If they're still intact afterwards, at least.

    Thanks in advance.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Crap. Hold on. I need to look through the files again.

      ...huh. Okay, you're file is super big and super weird. Most of it is blacked out which...why? The things I can read are just bizarre. Like...how would you even be able to fight off the Rake with an eggbeater? And how the heck were you on the Titanic?

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    2. Oh yeah, the Titanic. That was fun. Well, mostly fun. Up until the Cold Boy showed up, at least.

      And I fight off the Rake with an eaggbeater? Holy shit, that sounds awesome. I'm going to go grab an eggbeater right now to prepare.

      Delete